Embarrassing LPs

Curation

2010-09-22T22:20:00.000-07:00

It is an indictment of the cyclical nature of popular culture that one of pop music's greatest qualities is its curationism. We subject ourselves to endless rehashes of the past while convincing ourselves that it's something new. This would usually be seen as a bad thing; for the seasoned pop connoisseur, however, it provides an excuse to dig deep in the influences of your latest love.

Some bands are greater than the sum of their parts. The eighteen-year-old me would be horrified to know that actually Super Furry Animals weren't all that. I'm sure, however, that some of the greatest pleasure in being a Super Furries fan was exploring the music that they liked: Love, Dr. Octagon, Roxy Music, The Beach Boys. It stimulated exploration, giving focus to otherwise aimless time poring the record shop racks.

The rise of the All Tomorrow's Parties and the Meltdown festivals in the UK celebrate this curationism, where bands will book their influences to play. Some of the bands with the highest curational value, Massive Attack and Pulp's Jarvis Cocker, have curated Meltdown, providing previously dismissive younger listeners with improbable exposure to Gong and Motörhead.

Usually, a band who are curatively very good are very interesting, probably because they have a wider palette from which to produce their patchwork pop music. Saint Etienne would be a great example of this, mixing obscure Sixties and Seventies pop with contemporary electronic dance music. Saint Etienne are as good at curating the present as they are the past.

Transcendence

2010-03-10T15:22:00.001-08:00

Blowing all rules pertaining to jazz absolutely OUT of the water is fab, fab, fab, fab Alice Coltrane, of whose albums I think any number is permitted, but maybe just leave one as a download to avoid having a full back-catalogue.

That track 'Paramahansa Lake' from Huntington Ashram Monastery is so amazing it almost gives me synaesthesia.

My boyfriend would probably be too busy watching quixotic all-female musicals to get really into Alice Coltrane, but I did recently send him three of her albums and I'm confident that they will make him more attractive.

Anyway, do we need to think about moving with the times and starting Embarrassing Downloads, or shall we remain purists to the core?

2009-11-10T04:42:00.000-08:00

Ghosts of the Great Highway by Sun Kil Moon is one of those albums I should have embraced at the start of the year when I first got hold of it, not to mention when it was actually released several years ago. It's lovely. I wonder if it's the kind of thing I will tire of, but at present I can't get enough of the 'Carry me Ohio' track, to say nothing of the other great ones.

It would be nice to see this on somebody's 'Recently Played' list on iTunes, now that nobody seems to bother buying CDs anymore.

Freedom '90

2009-09-21T18:39:00.000-07:00

George Michael's Listen without prejudice is a good album and is totally fine to own. You'd probably want to stop there, but no excuses need be made for owning, enjoying and actively playing that album.

It's not overtly camp, so doesn't interfere with the ABBA or Elton John quota. At the risk of generating pure disagreement, I think lyrically there is something quite honest about the album. It has undercurrents of loss, sadness, regret and heartache.

Having said this, I wouldn't want to see Faith in any rack, because if somebody thinks "I want your sex" is an appropriate phrase to sing within earshot of anybody, one probably doesn't need to get within earshot of them.

Probably more dissection of that shady 1990 - 1995 musical period needs to occur.

Electronica update

2009-09-07T22:38:00.000-07:00

Electronica can be pretty sexy, as long as one is discerning and doesn't get too caught up in genre-warfare. It is very easy to point out blatantly obvious mistakes in this domain, so I'll try to focus this post on how you can GROW your attractiveness with a few select purchases.

In essence, it would be a good idea to get hold of these relatively recent releases:

The Field - From here we go to sublime
Flying Lotus - Los Angeles
Lucky Dragons - Dream island laughing language

These albums are all intriguing in different ways. They establish interesting atmospheres and moods, and play with unexpected directions and sounds.

Better yet, what these little gems will do is enable you to make connections with wonderful people. Forget what other small coincidences may crop up ("Oh my gosh, I LOVE *insert rubbish TV show or whatever here* TOO! How FUNNY!!"); if you realise one of these albums is a shared interest, you'll know you've FOUND your life partner and can start drawing up marriage contracts right now, or non-heteros can figure something else out if you live somewhere backward, like Australia, where same-sex unions are not adequately recognised.

The songs may also recall days of dancing in forests in the summertime, or dust clouds at Rainbow Serpent. Neither of those things are especially bad in my opinion, but each to their own.

Crash and burn, all the stars explode tonight

2009-08-10T19:52:00.001-07:00

There's really nothing all that wrong with liking Courtney Love, even if some people regard her as the Yoko Ono of Nirvana. I mean let's face facts: 'Malibu' is a great song. Yes I know Billy Corgan wrote it, and members of Hole played the bulk of the instruments, but Courtney gave it the Grrrr.

And Frances Bean is endlessly fascinating.

I'd be more than happy to see a copy of Celebrity Skin in anybody's collection.

Post Rock - do not exceed the stated dose

2009-07-28T18:57:00.000-07:00

I find the most interesting thing about Godspeed You Black Emperor are their song titles. Their pieces are dull in general, with only the occasional track that makes you go, "Finally! Something interesting." They aren't difficult, just boring. They are, in essence, a 25% efficient Tortoise, minus synths and electronics which aren't necessary to produce interesting music, but I find Tortoise infinitely more interesting with them.

Trans Am are OK but patchy - perhaps the Beach Boys of post rock to Tortoise's Beatles. Labradford occasionally show signs of excess but are generally welcome in any collection.

To Rococo Rot are better than the name suggests and their very presence signifies that the potential lover may have a superior intergalactic intellect and should be cherished, especially if their cerebral nature is counterbalanced by something akin to pre-1976 Rolling Stones, Charles Mingus, Otis Redding, or something just energy and soul.

Grizzly Bear and The Dirty Projectors

2009-07-28T17:56:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been telling anybody who will listen that Grizzly Bear's Veckatimest and The Dirty Projectors' Bitte Orca are fab albums.

Because they are.

They're fab and they're sexy. As winsome as any consumer item hatched by a Danish design studio or French fashion house (especially if the French fashion house has a Japanese designer). You know, things you can buy to make yourself more attractive within the current cultural context.

I'll admit that these albums might up the 'excess' component of your collection, but not to the point of 'vainglorious excess' I wouldn't think.

Part of the appeal is how unclear the pronunciation of each title is. You and your date can giggle over it, and speculate, which will lead to all sorts of hand holding and wonderful, shared moments.

The first song on Veckatimest is my current favourite and I think it would do many relationships a world of good to get on board.

New York City Shite

2009-07-15T22:48:00.000-07:00

I am so over the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and frankly most of those New York art scene post-revisionist-reconstructionist-punk/rock bands can just fuck right off.

Yes there was a time when I liked them, but that time belonged firmly in my mid-twenties when I still had a lot to learn about the opposite and the same sex.

I still have a lot to learn about the opposite and the same sex, but what I certainly do know now is that these bands are essentially just stylised shite dressed up in an aesthetic that somehow got absorbed into the zeitgeist.

It seems like a handful of people tuned their guitars differently, affected a pose and a snarl, and suddenly we had this whole 'art noise' genre that was intoxicating at first, and therefore perhaps important in its own way, but frankly those CDs should now be dusty or grouped together in a place that shows some of the shame that hovers over your past like the droning fuzz of a New York City concept.

Disappointing Albums - part 1

2009-06-28T01:21:00.000-07:00

'In Our Bedroom After the War' by Stars is a disappointing album. In fact, it stinks. They are one reason I feel like Canadian indie bands can go fuck themselves (though not Arcade Fire, they gave us Laika, they can do whatever they like).

With or without you

2009-05-12T21:53:00.000-07:00

We've known for a while that U2 recently released a single called "Get on your boots", which is itself why the new album hasn't managed even one listen, and more than enough reason to make the possession of any album after Pop an almost divorce-worthy sin.

Late-stage U2: one of life's great disappointments.

More on the contrived and quirky

2009-04-15T08:32:00.001-07:00

It seems a common part of being an embarrassing LP is to be an LP by a quirky band. And I'll tell you who would turn me right off: Ween.

Ween, have two good songs (for the record, they are 'Freedom of '76' and 'What Deaner Was Talking About'). If I saw White Pepper in anybody's album collection, I might be forced to vomit on them to get revenge for seeing Ween in a grown adult's record collection.

It is fine to have owned a Ween album (past tense), but not to still own one.

Jangly, sparse

2009-03-10T18:13:00.000-07:00

Neutral Milk Hotel's In the aeroplane over the sea wins huge attractiveness points because (A) who even knew about it when it was first released? and (B) it still sounds so fresh and relevant and life-changing ten years on, despite those ten years having evaporated into an obscure sense of "why the hell did I ever date him/her" and also in spite of the album's frequent mentions of, um, bodily fluids.

If a life partner has that album, it would cancel out several mistakes along the lines of accidentally having bought the first, and MAYBE even second, Killers or Kings of Leon CDs, before it was made so abundantly clear just how lame those two bands are.

Gravenhurst is another band that are interesting enough to make somebody else attractive. Really great. Owning The Western Lands would make amends for a host of sins, and may even have a dampening effect on the camp coefficient (ie. you could own ONE more Kylie CD). It wouldn't have an impact on the number of albums by lesbian singer/songwriters one should own, however, because that's a different playing field altogether.

If you wanna be my lover...

2009-02-05T20:49:00.000-08:00

Woo me with the following bands or singer/songwriters:

Minus Story
Alela Diane
The Felice Brothers
David Crosby
Gene Clark (the No other album)
Neil Young (specifically Harvest and After the gold rush)
Midlake

Standard "no obsession" rule applies, but these will help me fall in love with YOU.

Dark and stormy

2009-02-04T16:52:00.000-08:00

I think it's attractive to like The National. I also think it's a bit hot to like Arab Strap, which is a band I never listen to and used to dislike, but now sort of don't mind, even though I never listen to them. It's better to like (Smog) than to dislike them, especially the wonderful Supper album, but Bill Callahan's solo material doesn't seem quite so splendid. I've revised my (Smog) allowances from 1 or 2 to 2 - 4. I would rather see Nick Cave's No more shall we part than The boatman's call. Interpol's Turn on the bright lights is still encouraged, but any albums thereafter I am still not sure. Okkervil River and Sparklehorse may both demand more of a listen. Elbow are great and you could have 2 - 3 albums, and Spoon's best are Girls can tell and Kill the moonlight, I suspect.

Obfuscating

2009-01-21T17:08:00.000-08:00

Some musicians are just too Spartan in their practices to offer mere enjoyment to the people who buy their CDs. Some musicians have dedicated entire careers to producing overthought exercises in the unlistenable (Venetian Snares) while others think it makes them more serious in their art (Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music, Miles Davis' Gemini/Double Image and everybody has their own personal pet peeve to add to the party). I think Matthew Herbert can sometimes be a bit like this, but never actually dedicates whole albums to ridiculous noise noodling, so I reckon that you can have about three Herbert CDs in your collection. Lou Reed would be any number of Velvet Underground studio releases because there aren't so many, but probably only a maximum of four solo LPs, not including Metal Machine Music. Miles Davis: remember the coefficient, and avoid the overdone crap.

Venetian Snares: no. Throbbing Gristle/Psychic TV/Genesis P Orridge: Is there really a need?

Kill ME

2009-01-21T14:53:00.000-08:00

Oh and get this: "Are we human, or are we dancer?"

The Killers: Zero.

They cancel out even the coolest, most obscure rarity that you thought nobody but your good self even knew about, and were delighted to find in the collection of your prospective boy/girlfriend. Because after that initial burst of joy and optimism, you looked over and saw The Killers and knew that the whole relationship was going nowhere.

Acknowledging former wrongs

2009-01-20T16:25:00.000-08:00

Every relationship is a journey, and along the way there will be sins and forgiveness, rights and wrongs, all in the name of development, growth and the strengthening of bonds in the union.

Some of the worst things may only be understood in the cold light of hindsight.

Just how totally crap and irritating Architecture in Helsinki always were is one such realisation. I once sang their praises, in choral fashion, but know better now.

Yeah, I was wrong, and I'm sorry, and embarrassed. I could forgive an album because I understand how people get swept up on bandwagons.

In this revisionist vein, I now allow much more Coco Rosie. I'm still violated by the cover art, but Noah's Ark is a strange and interesting album. I am also finding Sonic Youth to be more and more distasteful as the years go by, but acknowledge some great work and wouldn't run away if I found a sizeable collection in, say, a cupboard.

No doubt I could delve deeper and find more revisions. Like I said, every relationship is a journey.

Oh, just quickly, I wouldn't want someone I was dating to be too into Bon Iver. A casual liking is OK, but you shouldn't LOVE it.

Sing us a song, you're the piano man!

2008-12-29T20:55:00.000-08:00

I don't know why exactly but I've been thinking, ruminating even, about Rufus Wainwright and Ben Folds, and their key influences, Billy Joel and Gilbert O' Sullivan.

Something bothers me. I think it's rock n' roll's use of piano. No matter how hard one tries, there's always the Elton John-esque aspect of piano in rock. And shouldn't Elton John be avoided at all costs? Oh, yes. Elton John is a zero album artist.

But Billy Joel is good, isn't he? Yes, he is, despite the ubiquity of 'Uptown Girl' which is best avoided. But his pre-'Uptown Girl' work is fine stuff.

Ben Folds is usually acknowledged as being a Billy Joel copyist, but I find that there's a lot more sarcasm and 1990s irony in his warblings. 'Underground' is a class song, with a piano that ensures the hipsters it attacks will never listen to it. I think a two album limit is fine for Ben Folds including solo and his work as part of Ben Folds Five.

Rufus Wainwright is slightly jarring. He has this über-boho image that seems part Freddie Mercury (opera-buff working in the rock paradigm, clever clogs) and part Bowie (un-rock rock music, folksy at times) while being just very hippy without being a hipster about it. I don't put any kind of limit on Wainwright apart from the back-catalogue rule.

Gilbert O' Sullivan, one album, the one with 'Alone Again Naturally' if any. I don't think he's essential, just nice to know his work exists.

Duh Duh Duh Durrhh!

2007-06-23T11:40:00.000-07:00

Seriously, does anybody really need to see that you have several Mozart CDs, right next to your Beethoven CDs and a couple of Pavarotti/Three Tenors CDs? Did you buy them from a number on the television? Did you buy them because you felt that you ought to have them in the house, much like a copy of The Complete Works of Shakespeare? Well, you don't.

Seriously, if you're going to bother having classical music in your collection, I think a similar policy with jazz has to take hold. It is fine to have Beethoven and Mozart in one's collection but not just those. Why not try Telemann, Schubert, Debussy, Gorecki, Grieg, or Purcell?

Opera operates on a similar level, but should be full operas not greatest hits. I think Bizet and Puccini are nice things to have but are by no means essential.

Which Classic Albums Leave You Cold?

2007-06-16T04:39:00.000-07:00

There's a post on the Guardian music blog today about which classic albums leave you cold. Mine are personally anything by Can or Joy Division. Public Enemy are up there too with albums. Their singles are good but I can't listen to a full album because it sounds monotonous.

Bonnie 'Prince' Billy

2007-06-03T16:31:00.000-07:00

Bonnie 'Prince' Billy is wonderful.

His album The letting go is to be encouraged in any potential life partner's CD collection. It just makes sense. The songwriting is interesting, varied and engaging, and Dawn McCarthy's harmonies are glorious.

Yes it may be an introspective musing on death and loss, but life ain't all disco and rock festivals, you know.

The usual obsession rule would be enforced, obviously. Will Oldham's excursions into acting, lauded or otherwise, have no bearing on Bonnie 'Prince' Billy.

I wonder if there should be a depression equation though?

Most of the Drag City record label is fine by me as far as all that goes too. It is not merely the preserve of bearded bohemians who drink only elm tea, and if elm tea is your major vice you could make a worse partner anyway.

There's an interesting Jim O'Rourke connection to many of the artists too, which I don't think is a bad thing.

Travis

2007-05-12T11:00:00.000-07:00

The current single from Travis, 'Closer' is dreary rubbish. From the Paris, Texas reference in their name, and the intellectual-lite album titles (The Man Who and The Boy With No Name), what Travis perceive themselves to be has often been at odds with what they sound like.

It wasn't always this way. Their first album, Good Feeling, has some cracking songs on there: 'U16 Girls' and 'Happy' are the first to spring to mind. The Man Who is more of a mixed bag. It is super-pretentious with rubbish French lyrics in 'The Last Laugh of the Laughter' and tedious with 'Turn', the chorus of which repeats the word "turn" too many times to remember. It has some fairly decent material with 'Driftwood' and 'The Fear'.

Lately though, the captains of the dullard industry, Razorlight (0 albums permitted by the way) have stolen Travis' crown.

I will allow Good Feeling and reluctantly The Man Who into anyone's collection but no more than that.

Untz, untz... untz, untz...

2006-09-17T17:33:00.000-07:00

Since the 90s are the new 80s, and the 80s are cool again, and it's now okay to use expressions like "oh he's so mired in the 90s" willy nilly, it means we need to talk about drum'n'bass.

Roni Size / Reprazent's New Forms is totally acceptable because the production still sounds relevant. Test of time stood.

You don't want the second album though.

Most Omni Trio now sounds dated, but there's an undeniable groove to some of their tracks.

Everything but the Girl's foray into this territory, namely the Walking Wounded LP, is slightly lame but also yielded some very nice songs so I won't point the finger of blame at any owner.

The odd bit of LTJ Bukem never goes astray either, but you don't want too much. Journey Inwards plus one or two Earth compilations should just about do it.

Photek was always a bit overrated in my opinion

The jury is still very much out on Squarepusher and Aphex Twin, and the equation seems to include drug use. I like both artists and am happy to see a couple of CDs.

Basically the arbitrary "no obsession" rule reigns supreme in this touchy territory.

Technorati Tags: Roni Size / Reprazent Omni Trio Everything but the girl LTJ Bukem Photek Aphex Twin Squarepusher

Streaming, flaxen, waxen

2006-08-18T00:52:00.000-07:00

Have we discussed soundtracks yet? I bet we have, and clearly I can't be bothered searching the archives.

Like the time I wrote a fantastic post about heavy metal, and the genres within, but of course, ELPs had that covered that here, didn't they? But I'm not bitter.

Anyhoo, soundtracks, what's the deal?

Are there any no-no's or yes-yes'? Does possessing more than one Gilbert and Sullivan mean that there'll be no sleeping over tonight, what about Rodgers and Hammerstein?

Is the Sound of Music just okay for girls, what does it say about the boys? Brave and in touch with their inner Maria, or get away from me you big nancy-boy?

Is having the 1969 Broadway cast recording of Hair any good? Or help yourself to your hippie revival Mr/Ms Wannabe, I've got to get up early for a meeting?

Is a crap film which has a cool soundtrack admissable? Example in question Ali G in Da House (yes, I have this one).

Personally, I've been scoffed at for possessing and loving the O Brother Where Art Thou soundtrack (which actually, can totally stand on its own as a tremendous collection of lovely tunes thankyou very much) but that was from someone who thought Dodgeball was a really funny film.

Can the line between liking films and the subsequent music they produce or encourage further listening ever be crossed or is that another blog entirely - do we need to start Embarrassing DVDs?

Technorati Tags

Ali G
Coen Brothers
The Sound of Music
Soundtrack

Beat Biters

2006-08-12T10:36:00.000-07:00

In 1997 nearly every music magazine around was raving about an album which was changing the hip-hop terrain. It came from neither the East or West. This was from RnB's home turf, the South. That album was Supa Dupa Fly by Missy 'Misdemeanor' Elliot.

The question is, what the fuck happened? Why did the talents of Missy and co-producer Timbaland, whose trademark scatterbeats are now the backing of choice for Justin Timberlake, end up gracing the pop scene so often with pieces of crap?

While researching this (yes, sometimes I do research blog entries) I found out that Missy and Timbaland were responsible for some of RnB/New Jack Swings greatest atrocities/hits in the early-to-mid 1990s (Jodeci, SWV, Nicole Wray). This clearly says a lot. It's not so much a question, as I previously thought, of why they sold out, but why they stopped selling out at the end of the 1990s.

So despite them helping to sell A Shark's Tale and Moulin Rouge and furthering the careers of Justin Timberlake and Nelly Furtado, they have quite a few albums worth owning. I say that there should be no more than three Missy Elliott albums, the last Aaliyah album and maybe a Ginuwine album. But under no circumstances does anyone need the Moulin Rouge soundtrack, even if it has got Beck on it, nor do we need Justin Timberlake, even if he says on 'SexyBack' that he's gonna show us "mu'fuckaz where it's at". Because we know it's the pube-wigged one out of N'Sync that held hands with Britney Spears for five years, so it's unlikely he's going to show anyone where it's at.

Technorati Tags: Missy Elliot Timbaland Justin Timberlake Hip Hop Southern Bass

Can't hold me back in the chorus

2006-07-29T09:36:00.000-07:00

I am totally down with that recent crop of bands in which everyone seems to be having a good old sing-a-long... Architecture in Helsinki springs to mind, who I just love (own one of their discs and I may just bare my beating heart).

Other bands in this category include Of Montreal (my recent exposure to Satanic Panic in the Attic has left me quite the fan; owning this disc will do you no harm at all), Arcade Fire (who Marc and I have never agreed on... their next CD will prove very telling I do think), Feathers, Danielson (although I wouldn't want to see more than two of their albums) and much of the new weird folk movement.

In a slightly different vein, one is allowed two or three Neko Case CDs, but only the first Coco Rosie disc.

Derivative rock rehashings + funky soul whatever

2006-07-20T18:57:00.000-07:00

The current crop of derivative 70s rock bands has a place, and that place is, I feel, in live shows.

I am not sure if anyone really needs a Wolfmother album, however wonderful their mystical cover art may be.

However, discovering a ticket stub to a Wolfmother concert would not be cause to kick someone out of your life, because they probably had a whole lot of fun, just as I did when I attended the Wolfmother show in London.

But you didn't see me come away with a CD in my hand.

By its very nature, much of this kind of music is rendered flawed by this related issue.

As for Gnarls Barkley, well I have the St Elsewhere disc and love about 40% of it. The other half veers from average to uncomfortably-close-to-Outkast (no, no, no, no, NO), so I don't think we can get too excited about them yet. I certainly wouldn't want to find evidence of a pre-order for their next album while rummaging through a prospective partner's wallet / receipts drawer.

Noonday Underground are a cooler Gnarls Barkley in many ways, and both Self Assembly and Surface Noise are allowed, indeed even encouraged.

The Black Hit of Space: excess of synth-pop

2006-07-14T09:46:00.000-07:00

Synth. Synthesizer. Synthetic. Not real (feeling/music)? It depends whose hands the synthesizers are in. I can say that any pre-Get Ready New Order album is fine. Pet Shop Boys albums do nothing for me but I will allow any number of albums just not too many recent ones, and not a back catalogue nor the remix albums Disco or Disco II. Human League are allowed Travelogue and Dare and that's all. Heaven 17 are pure pomp and thus banned. Erasure are only allowed The Innocents or Drama but not both. Any number or pre-1992 Depeche Mode is fine bar a full back catalogue.

Ladytron - er, no thanks. Generally, rehash is the way to irritate me.

You might want to read this too.

Jazz Odyssey: the pitfalls of post-rock

2006-07-03T04:53:00.000-07:00

Simon Reynolds, perhaps the only music journalist ever not to use ridiculous barrages of adjectives in his articles defined post-rock as using rock instrumentation for music not within the usual template of rock. So I would probably go on to say that I would class Mogwai (two albums maximum) and Sigur Rós as rock, just to clarify before I plumb further pedantic depths.

I was at a friend's house yesterday and we listened to Stereolab's Dots And Loops and I was asking him if he had heard any other Stereolab stuff and he said no but he'd like to. I then asked if he had heard any Tortoise and he said that he had TNT but didn't think that he'd want to own anything else.

That's pragmatism in action, I think, because as much as Tortoise do experiment, I don't think it's sufficient enough a departure to make it necessary to own any more than one Tortoise album but I'd say two maximum. The same with Godspeed You Black Emperor. You don't need to own any Trans Am or Labradford but they're one album only type people. Slint's Spiderland is overrated but I don't object too much.

As for the aforementioned Stereolab, Pete said five, but maybe this is too liberal.

By the way, you will find plenty of objectionable material, certainly enough to call me a hypocrite at my new MP3 blog Vacuum Packed Beats.

2006-06-17T06:22:00.000-07:00

Hello. Has anyone asked about 'partner performers' yet?

How many is too many albums to have in regards to 'couple rock'.

White Stripes (well, technically not a couple anymore, or were they?), Mates of State, The Carpenters, Captain and Tennille, Wings, oh, okay, Beyonce and Jay Z? Oh! June and Johnny Cash?

Does having two or more of these type of albums indicate some weird sort of codependence fetish one must stay clear of?

I mean, usually the music's pretty good, but are we always going to be listening a bit too closely to the lyrics for some revelation about the relationship.

Or maybe that's just me?

Other people's discussions

2006-05-31T03:04:00.000-07:00

I was testing the new web search engine Snap by searching for Embarrassing LPs, and it was quite powerful, but what is better is that I found this.

So while we're not the only people having this conversation, we at least aren't admitting to owning "Tuvan throat music", which would be a 0 CD even if burned genre.

Lest We Forget...

2006-05-26T09:42:00.000-07:00

Oh! What crimes are committed by the words "tribute album"? That is a tribute by many artists covering songs by one artist, rather than the covers albums by artists.

For instance, I'm Your Fan, the Leonard Cohen tribute featuring the likes of Tori Amos and other such muesli-worriers, which while alright isn't actually worth buying. Then there was that Gram Parsons one with Beck and a few alt-countryers (yawn) and numerous tributes to the Sex Pistols and The Damned. The very worst one, and one that sealed my dislike of a former transient housemate, was that fucking rap/RnB tribute to Phil fucking Collins, Urban Renewal. One word: Urrrgh!

Remix albums should have the highlights downloaded off iTunes or burned from a friend.

So tribute albums: none thanks.

Covers albums can be OK: Bowie's Pin-Ups is pretty good; Duran Duran's Thank You had potential but was fucked up by the rap covers. The rule would seem to be - and I don't generally hold truck with this, but in this instance it's very necessary - if general consensus says that it's a *must* own, then I say it's a *may* own.

Tell me tell me lies!

2006-04-25T08:27:00.000-07:00

In what ways do Fleetwood Mac speak to you?

Honestly, I think they are just wonderful, and I hereby call upon all Embarrassing LPs members (as hopelessly slack as they are, mind you) to join the pledge: "We will endeavour in every way possible to add to the amount of Fleetwood Mac in our collection [subject to existing rules, clauses, sub-clauses and quotients, as defined by the authors of this site]."

Seriously, it can't be a bad thing. And that ain't no sweet, sweet little lie.

A few tips, for what they're worth

2006-01-22T04:49:00.000-08:00

If you wanna get with me, I'd advise you to display evidence of as many of the following as possible, because it really will up your chances (I don't know how well you would fare with Marc, Gossy or Deb, but hey no harm in trying):

Sufjan Stevens. If you have Come on feel the Illinoise it might be enough for me to suggest some semblance of lifetime commitment.

Devendra Banhart. I'm really down with that kind of drifter/hippie thing connoted by the cover of Cripple Crow.

Interpol. Turn me on with a copy of Turn on the bright lights. I'm not quite so into the second album, but it's worth having nevertheless.

Jose Gonzalez. Veneer will get you to at least one of the bases (but which one?).

The Shins. Oh, inverted world puts a smile on my dial and warmth in my heart.

Love. Forever changes – oh hello!

Flavour of the month Antony and the Johnsons are currently being viewed with suspicious ambivalence. Great voice but abysmal lyrics. Might be one for the pile of burnt CDs, preferably buried beneath a few others and without a home-made cover.

Your Unicorn Does Not Impress Me

2006-01-18T06:48:00.000-08:00

I think that we might have this covered in previous posts about prog rock and the like but I don't think very much science-fiction or fantasy themed music is particularly good if it's lyrical. I don't like opera particularly, so Mozart's The Magic Flute is lost on me. But apart from this, one should not possess any more than one Pink Floyd/Syd Barrett album. The Jeff Wayne soundtrack to War Of The Worlds is acceptable purely because it is a soundtrack. But groups of grown men (and let's face it, it is usually men) singing about goblins and unicorns and other such nonsense is laughable and makes one think that if such records are in your collection that you are still having a kind of nerdy, extended childhood manifested in Games Workshop figurine painting, or way too much time spent playing RPGs on the internet. And yes, Queen and T-Rex and such do count. The Pixies (all four studio albums) have a get-out clause because it's only on Trompe Le Mode and Frank Black solo stuff (one album, curiosity value only). Also, The Flaming Lips might be a bit of a fine line if the rest of the new album is like "The WAND".

Antipodean

2005-12-08T02:48:00.000-08:00

I take offence to an overabundance of mid/late-90s-Australian-heavy-Triple J-airplay-'alternative'-post-grunge. As a general rule, I go by the "one is plenty" notion.

In the consideration of some specific bands, let's commence with You Am I. I swear, despite all the platitudes, they really weren't that good. More than one disc is total no-no land, and even one needs brushing off with a "hey I was still in high school / university".

Same goes for Silverchair (are they currently capitalising their name?), but I will allow one album sans-excuse. After that comes a whole lot of thin ice though.

I was thinking about Grinspoon today and decided, yep, one.

Regurgitator, The Mavis' and Spiderbait follow suit.

I can't abide by Jebediah, and Eskimo Joe shouldn't really be cropping up, oh OK maybe one.

The Superjesus: ummmm... none. No wildcard can save this band either.

Underground Lovers get a very generous allowance of two discs, mainly because that Losin' it song is so, SO great... and they have only a tenuous link to this category anyway.

In total, this entire category should be represented by no more than 10 discs. I was a little generous because supporting local music does win some points, as long as you don't talk the talk too much.

French Disko

2005-11-13T18:57:00.000-08:00

The type of person I am, no doubt you can imagine me having fitful sleep, wondering about the issues of the day: war, corporate greed, pestilence, famine, how many French house albums are allowed in a record collection.

Needless to say, there isn't a lot I can do about the first few, but French House albums, I do know. In fact, I'm not *just* going to look at French House but the whole Air thing too.

Daft Punk - Two classic albums have been released by Monsieurs Bangalter & de Homem-Christo. Homework is a classic that, I am so embarrassed, I do not own, though in my defence I do own the original CD release of "Da Funk/Musique". The other classic is Discovery, which is much housier, and one should not be put off by the sports highlight favourite "One More Time".

Air - Are great. I have a bit of an aversion to 10,000 Hz Legend but generally, the rule with Air is: the entire Source back catalogue is fine, but not Air Barrico: City Reading or Premieres Symptoms. If either of these are present, one Source album must be removed. The Virgin Suicides score still counts as a Source album. Remix albums do not, and in fact Everybody Hertz is a waste of time.

Etienne De Crecy - a.k.a. Super Discount. Only one album.

Alex Gopher - unnecessary.

Phoenix - are not all that and so the Alex Gopher rule applies.

That's everybody in the whole Orange scene and Daft Punk taken care of.

F-Communications is a massive force in techno/house and Laurent Garnier is quite rightly revered. But that is the dance floor. At home, really, how many Laurent Garnier albums do you need? I would limit this to a generous three. And though Mr. Oizo (he of "Flat Beat" fame) released Analog Worms Attack on F-Comm. I would say that this is spurious at best.

*Addition* And nobody needs a whole Modjo album either.

Wildcards

2005-10-26T20:24:00.000-07:00

I don't mean to be such a Suzy Hangaround on this website, but I've been thinking about wildcard CDs.

Wildcard titles effectively allow someone to violate another Embarrassing LPs rule, albeit under tight constraints, without major penalty or loss of face. In my previous post I cited Kate Bush's Hounds of Love as one such wildcard -- possession of this particular title makes up for ONE oversight in either the Britpop or electronica category.

Other wildcards include:

Nick Drake Pink Moon - this is a powerful title and would cancel out the negative energy of even an emo disc. It basically negates up to three problem titles in all but the folk or soft rock categories, the latter of which shouldn't really be rearing up its ugly head anyway.

Arcade Fire Funeral - this fabulous newcomer makes up for the second Strokes album, or alternatively, ONE oversight involving The White Stripes, Sonic Youth or Black Rebel Motorcycle Club.

Michelle Shocked Short, Sharp, Shocked - absorbs the impact of ONE seminal 80s power women violation.

Third Eye Foundation's OuMoPo 1 - this disc makes up for an overabundance of Amon Tobin, Aphex Twin or Brian Eno, but not all three.

R.E.M. Automatic for the people - own this disc and I will turn a blind eye to a Tom Waits back catalogue. The usual rule for Tom Waits is a maximum of four.

Joni Mitchell For the roses - this wildcard functions most powerfully as a standalone, so if you were to have only one Joni Mitchell album and this were it, you would be allowed to have an extra chillout compilation, ONE recent Bob Dylan or Carole King CD and maybe even some Janet Jackson. If it is part of a Joni Mitchell collection, it makes up for one too many Me'Shell Ndegeocello titles (the usual maximum is two) or more than just the first Tracy Chapman release.

How do the other columnists feel about this issue?

Pushing the envelope with synthesisers and grit

2005-10-26T02:45:00.000-07:00

Further to Marc's post on females with guitars (find it yourself, I am in no mood for hyperlinking), I am interested in exploring the inclusion of seminal 80's power women.

I impose no real limit on Kate Bush aside from the normal 'no back catalogue' thing. In fact, if you have Hounds of Love, you are allowed to have one violating CD from the Britpop or electronica categories... it's like a kind of wild card. That's right: Hounds of Love makes up for, say, a recent Oasis or Prodigy album, no questions asked.

Madonna, more than almost anyone else, is subject to the camp coefficient. More than three Madonna CDs, or more than two when combined with the likes of Kylie or funky house compilations, equates to a "no, sorry, I don't think I can make it tonight" kind of CD stack, despite the fact that some of the other discs may have merit. So you have to be careful. The general rule with Madonna is nothing after Ray of Light and no more than one greatest hits.

I do waive the greatest hits rule for the Eurythmics. But you can't have the greatest hits AND other Eurythmics CDs. The greatest hits plus one, or at the very most two, Annie Lennox solo albums is an acceptable count. Eurythmics + Madonna = a dicey equation under the camp coefficient, so in this instance less is probably more, unless you can demonstrate a special interest such as synthesiser arrangements.

Finally, Cyndi Lauper. I allow one CD because, damn it, she penned some great great tunes. If, after successive visits to the potential partner's house, I find that the existing Cyndi Lauper CD is still resting beside, on top of, or in the CD player, it will be considered evidence of continual playing, which extrapolates to indicate obsession, and contact may be severed pending assessment of other titles.

Mr Albarn's Farrago or That Whole Britpop Issue

2005-10-15T20:34:00.000-07:00

I must make it clear. Britpop was my coming of age, so I have a rose-tinted view of it. Most Britpop to me sounds like my own personal soundtrack to The Wonder Years, sometimes even the shit, tail end of it.

Basically, Britpop falls under two categories: Crimplenism (as dubbed by Select Magazine), which is effete and effeminate and dreaming, marked *C; and Fred Perry, which is laddish and loudmouthed, marked *F.

We'll (or I'll) start with the titans first: Blur*F then Oasis*F.

Blur have made some good albums, and a couple of excellent ones. Thus, the following are allowed or not:

Leisure - no, because two good singles do not make a good album.

Modern Life Is Rubbish - essential, due to it being the audio equivalent of a British Rendering of Douglas Coupland's Generation X novel.

Parklife - yes; MLIR Part II. Not essential, but nice.

The Great Escape - yes; aside from the terrible "Country House" and "Charmless Man" singles, there are some ace tracks on here, especially "The Universal" and "He Thought Of Cars".

Blur - yes. In short, it's not as good as people say, 'but it is a good album'.

13 - as above. "Tender" is shite though.

Think Tank - no. Why? Over thought and overwrought with crap tunes and crap lyrics.

Graham Coxon solo albums - one as a curiosity.

Gorillaz - both main albums. Remix albums are a bit of a no no here.

Damon Albarn's African Music album, perhaps called Mali Music - no. Damon Albarn is not Paul Simon. And I am a believer in the Graceland-is-not-a-good-album theory.

Oasis: only Definitely Maybe. Perhaps What's The Story Morning Glory? in my more charitable moods.

Onwards with the other notables.

Elastica*F - both studio albums and Peel Sessions (lots of non-album cuts). Great.

Pulp*C - His & Hers and A Different Class deserve ownership. PulpIntro: The Gift Recordings and This Is Hardcore are nice to have. Older stuff on Fire Records, and We Love Life are unnecessary, being patchy.

Saint Etienne*C - Everything up to but not including The Sound of Water is fabulous. The masterpieces are Fox Base Alpha and So Tough. The rest is merely OK. The remixes are quite fantastic.

Suede*C - Only the first two albums.

Supergrass*F - I Should Coco is all you really need, if that.

On the fringe:

The Auteurs*C are great; Gene are patchy and karaoke Smiths, neither *C nor *F; Powder - no (neither *C nor *F, just crap); Delicatessen*F - no; Laxton's Superb*F - Laxton's Shite; Menswear*C - no; Heavy Stereo*F -no; Northern Uproar*F - ha! no. Denim*C - a bit head up arse, but I don't mind. Sleeper*F - only Smart and The It Girl. Boo Radleys*F - Wake Up! and Giant Steps only if I were you.

Jangly guitar angst

2005-09-26T03:33:00.000-07:00

Grunge. Something must be said about the grunge movement. Something will be said about the grunge movement.

But for now I will merely state that I was always more on the side of Smashing Pumpkins than any of the jangly West Coast guitar noise merchants.

Which means that my attitude towards grunge is complex and vaguely unforgiving. I shall write more soon, I'm sure, unless another contributor wants to flesh out the issue?

Sigur Ròs

2005-08-29T03:07:00.000-07:00

I think I might be entering a love affair with Sigur Ròs. Why? What could have prompted such Prog loving?

I recently went to the Sigur Ros site and then downloaded some of the songs off Agætis Byrjun, and one off ( ). They are the Coldplay it’s acceptable for anal retentive boys to like. Why?

Because they make pop videos without lip-synching, i.e. they do not attempt to pervert realism to sell records (It annoys me when bands “sing” in videos because everyone knows they aren’t, but this is a separate issue.)

Because their lyrics don’t sound like “Oh, I’m so rich but worried about life it hurts!”

So as I listen to "Vidrar Vel Til Loftárása", I bid, Sigur Ròs, any number of CDs (but not the full back catalogue, naturally).

* Addition:

If one were really interested enough to learn some Icelandic, there's a free resource here.

All-bloke bands

2005-08-15T18:59:00.000-07:00

This particular issue may require more than one posting to be adequately addressed, but a simple overview follows.

Basically, if a band is an all-male quartet singing harmonies, swaying, gesticulating and making anguished faces whilst singing words like "girl I'll take yer clothes off slow" and "it's gonna be a bumpy ride" then it has absolutely no place in any CD collection of any person I'll ever be with. Don't know about you.

That wave of boy bands from a few years back HAS passed and should be allowed to crash on some distant shore where nobody will notice the detritus. I include those hideous nu-punk, nu-metal and ska groups in that dodgy tide. That distant shore is not a potential partner's CD stack, by the way.

If the band is British and too serious for their own good then you can have as many as you like as long as you are willing to admit that the band does in fact take themselves too seriously for their own good.

Should the band be an electronic duo or trio then they are probably OK as long as they are not producing half-arsed overtly hip electroclash or sugary overtly camp anthems. There is a camp coefficient of some sort but I cannot remember the details.

Emo speaks for itself.

Solo artists of the "I'm so folk I'm not even folk" category are to be shunned. I allow Ryan Adams although I know Marc has a few extreme things to say about him. Jack Johnson treads one very fine line, and I am sorry but the Dave Matthews Band will never ever be cool, ever. I am just assuming they are all-bloke because they are fodder for surf trips and footy party hangovers, enough said.

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds have had females in their lineup (see No more shall we part) and are absolutely allowable, indeed it's better if you do have them, especially the said album.

There is more, oh so much more to be said, but I am feeling a bit too much testosterone in the air so will perhaps pass the task to another contributor? Or maybe just let it die in its glorious incompleteness.

Sexism Warning

2005-07-24T17:10:00.000-07:00

Females with guitars as rock artists. Complex issue. Sometimes good. Sometimes assessed only by A&R men by how they'd look in FHM, in a way that all-male bands are not, due to guitars being just as much a fetish object as women.

The Embarrassing LPs assessment:

Is woman in a band or is she a solo act?

This still defines nothing. However...

Is the band entirely made up of blokes apart from the lead singer?

Yes. (e.g. Sleeper, No Doubt) 1 album preferably. 2 album maximum. Please note My Bloody Valentine: Belinda Butcher was not the lead singer and Debbie Goodge played bass. Also The Sugarcubes had Magga on keyboards too. Throwing Muses also get mad props for not being full of muso blokes.

If a solo act, does she mine the "FeistyTM" marketing line?

Yes. Maximum 1 album if from the 1990s on. e.g. Sheryl Crow. Aimee Mann would not count as she is not "FeistyTM".

1980s: If the hair is big, 0 albums. If hair is relatively cool, 1 album. Ergo Pat Benatar, 1 album is OK.

1960s-1970s: maximum of 5 albums but depends on quality and longevity of career. Thus Joni Mitchell can fill out the maximum. Mary Hopkin is unlikely to be able to. Yoko Ono solo stuff would be about 2 albums.

If a band is all female and "FeistyTM", what then?

Refrain from buying Lillix and Dixie Chicks CDs.

How about Riot Grrrl?

2 albums per band. I would recommend that the better Riot Grrrl-esque bands are electronic now though (Chicks On Speed and Le Tigre for example).

I would heartily welcome a similar post on all-bloke bands.

For what it's worth

2005-06-19T02:46:00.000-07:00

Stereolab: up to around five... it's really just the 'avoid obsession' rule here.

Burt Bacharach: a maximum of two.

Henry Mancini: one is allowable if there is no Bacharach.

Tribute albums to the previous two artists: one, if the participating artists are valid.

Red Hot + (whatever) compilations: two.

Rebirth of Cool: three.

Cafe del Mar: two, as part of the 'coffee coaster rule' which dictates a maximum of five ambient chillout releases, and only if they are from different labels and don't contain repeats... oh Ibiza chillout; it was ubiquitious but did you ever really notice?

Commercial trappings

2005-05-27T20:29:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure how we should generally feel about Angie Stone, but her song Wish i didn't miss you is absolutely wonderful.

Might be one for the iPod or download list only though, not sure.

Since she has collaborated with Snoop Doggy Dogg (or whatever), it seems that perhaps she should not be in a collection. Links to suspect (read: lame) rappers can strike great big chunks out of anybody's credibility and render their work unsuitable for a potential partner's CD stack.

Having said that, I have surprised myself with my leniency lately.

We are the zeitgeist

2005-05-22T15:38:00.000-07:00

Well, maybe we're a bit High Fidelity about things, but bugger me if this isn't one of the true spiritual parts of Embarrassing LPs. As somebody potentially going through a Herbie Hancock crisis, I think I have a right to be worried. It's worth noting that there have been two postings on jazz proper (including mine on NuJazz, and even the "proper" jazz one was by me), one on trip hop and the techno post mentioned prog rock, and there has been a whole post on Brian Eno, and Gossy's post on classic rock mentioned Pink Floyd. There is a huge culture of shame and hypocrisy in record buying. Stop the madness!

Rehashings and false nostalgia

2005-05-15T18:32:00.000-07:00

Scissor Sisters. I wanted to like them and I tried to like them and I thought they were disco, but really, in the end, they are just novelty.

We've heard all this in 1974 and I wasn't even born then. Verdict: banned.

We've had this talk before...

2005-05-09T18:57:00.000-07:00

I was downloading some MP3s off the internet, and I found one by a Swiss group who will remain unnamed to protect their embarrassment who were advertised as NuJazz. Jazz one can dance to, like Trüby Trio, who are great, and other such artists. However, there are limits to NuJazz, though the Miles Davis age coefficient is inapplicable in this case. I propose that the Amon Tobin windchime count be employed:

number of songs with windchimes involved >= total number of album tracks/3
=album inadmissible

Number of latin-jazz house albums also falls under this category.

Colours and kids

2005-05-04T00:21:00.000-07:00

I allow a limitless number of Cat Power CDs, and in fact if you have anything pre-Moon Pix and can demonstrate that you actually bought it pre-Moon Pix then I will not stop loving you until the day I (or you) die.

Cat Power may well be one of the worst – no I hesitate – most frustrating live shows I have ever witnessed but I love her albums unconditionally and will allow a full back catalogue, although throwing in an All Tomorrow's Parties compilation may be overdoing it a tad, even if it is good.

Same does not go for Smog. I would be pleased to see one or two, but no more than that.

I am still not ready to write about disco, but my love for it remains unchanged.

Hurdy Gurdy

2005-04-11T20:25:00.000-07:00

A question.

Nay, but first a brief history lesson. "It's all over when the fat lady sings." The said fat lady being a Valkyrie in Viking helmet.

It could safely be said that Northern Europe is melody driven, historically speaking. Where better than the frozen north to brew up pop records then? Exactly.! It just makes sense.

So, as dictator/founder of this blog I am recommending a maximum of: 2 Abba CDs. The Cardigans back catalogue, it being small (and yes, you can own the A Camp CD too). 1 Wannadies CD for curiosity value; ditto Grass-Show; 1 Kings Of Convenience/Erlend øye CD; no Idha CDs (too Anglophilic); no black metal; no Roxette (not *even* Look Sharp).

However, bonus points will be given for the first Neneh Cherry album on CD (the one with "Buffalo Stance" and "Manchild") and if any MP3 blogger can put up "Got To Get" by Leila K featuring Rob N' Raz, I would love you forever.

Euroclash, Electrotrash

2005-04-11T18:35:00.000-07:00

Electroclash (and related derivatives) should be heard at clubs sometimes but not featured too extensively in a collection. A track here, a track there, maybe the odd CD, but really, Ladytron gets tiresome after a few listens and Chicks on Speed can only be enjoyed live, and even then only in a muted way.

I really REALLY want to comment on fashion here, but will respect the ban Marc has imposed.

What irks me the most is the belief that an electroclash reworking can make the lamest music somehow OK. Oooh, Destiny's Child? Let's remix it; that will be so ironic. Like, yaah, totally. Wear the t-shirt too why don't you, but I'm not allowed to talk about that. Shit music is not made cool through irony. It is still shit. 100%. Forever.

Actually I don't especially hate Destiny's Child and might forgive a CD if the person made up for it in other ways, but I can't think of a better example right now.

However good part of it may be...

2005-03-19T05:02:00.000-08:00

I adore the tracks Sign your name and Wishing well, but nevertheless impose a firm ban on any Terence Trent D'Arby albums.

Unjust though it may seem, I can't help but feel that they just aren't necessary.

Buying a lame album for the sake of one or two tracks is a practice that I don't condone, as it suggests a tendency to settle for second best.

(I might allow the album with Sign your name actually.)

As for INXS, I am happy to see Kick and X, and maybe one more, although latter-day pre-dodgy-death (and pre-Terence for that matter) material isn't quite so good.

Old Records Off the Shelf

2005-03-09T20:17:00.000-08:00

Thankyou to the lovely Marc and the ever delightful Pete for contribution rights to the world of the Embarrassing LPs.

Sadly, they are really going to find out the true meaning of those two words now that I'm here.

You see, being Mrs Old, I had the misfortune of my formative teenage years (when one's true taste in music is developed, naturally - none of this playing Bach in the womb business, it's all about puberty) being smack bang in the 80s. Which means a) a fake drum beat will always sound good to me b) hair must always be vertical.

Anyway, nobody's mentioned anything about the Rolling Stones, The Who or Pink Floyd (have they?)

Retro cool? or Old Time Rock 'n' Roll Nobody Takes Those Drugs Anymore, So Who Cares?

West Coast nights

2005-03-06T18:59:00.000-08:00

Having thought more about the R'n'B issue, I have concluded that a distinction needs to be drawn between LA sound, British R'n'B and plain lame mass produced American radio fodder.

All of this because I can kind of dig Sade.

I would allow up to 2 Sade albums and a scattering of the first two categories. There might be a fourth category, containing for example the likes of Lauryn Hill and Missy Elliott, but then we bring up the whole hip hop blurred boundary thing again and I get all confused.

I guess at the end of the day, the R'n'B motto just needs to be "proceed with caution," and ultimately I will only decide what is OK once I actually see the CD collection in question.

Ambient works for ambient places and cafes

2005-03-02T00:25:00.000-08:00

I was going to write a post on the dangers of R'n'B but found that it became complex.

As a general rule, there should be none.

But I would like to pose a question about abstract minimalist electronica. Lately I have been listening to a lot of pretentious techno and the like (the sort of thing which is recorded in lighthouses and wherever), which is not to say that I want to see it in a CD collection.

I always judge things by their covers, and feel that this type of album really tends to 'pretty up' a CD stack, so there is value in that. But, regardless of beautiful package design, if someone has too many CDs of droning 7 minute 'works' I start questioning who they are, what they are and why they are doing it.

Marc, perhaps it is you who should allocate figures to this genre of music. How many is not too many?

Sounds of the planet

2005-02-20T18:48:00.000-08:00

Marc would probably impose a lower limit, but I say up to 7 CDs from the Real World label and then another 5 from any other "World Music" record labels.

I would like to see things like Trilok Gurtu, Zap Mama, The Guo Brothers and Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan. So-called "fusion" albums by the likes of Talvin Singh and Nitin Sawhney should be limited to one apiece.

Anything that makes a sweeping claim about being a "journey" should be regarded with suspicion.

Not sure if Shonen Knife count as "World Music" but I am happy to see them. (Yes, that was a feeble joke.)

As far as I am aware, Marc has some fairly passionate views on the Afro Celt Sound System so I will invite him to expand on that.

Live Your Life Be Free

2005-02-19T03:48:00.000-08:00

In response to Gossy, I would say that Belinda Carlisle's first two albums and one Go-Gos album is enough. I may dare even suggest that in this case the Greatest Hits rule may be broken, because her singles are actually her best material. Also, Come On Feel The Lemonheads has her lovely backing vocals, yet this fine album should not be bought for that reason.

For Your Pleasure

2005-02-15T05:39:00.000-08:00

As requested by Pete, a post on the most treacherous man in the terrain of contemporary rock/pop music: Brian Eno. This will be, like the man himself, a tad too pretentious to swallow for some. So be it; Eno wouldn't mind a bit of pretentiousness at all.

Roxy Music: first two albums plus Early Years are essential Eno purchases. This was when his talent was at its zenith if you ask me (but you probably wouldn't). Also...

Solo albums: Here Come The Warm Jets is a must for the wonderful "Baby's On Fire" and "The Paw Paw Negro Blowtorch" also "Driving Me Sideways". Taking Tiger Mountain (By Stealth), is much of the same. Another Green World is poor in places. "St. Elmo's Fire" is a good track. Please note that this album was bound to be shite because Phil Collins, a ridiculous arse, is credited with drums and percussion. If Phil Collins was credited with wiping arses it would be enough to make one think twice but HMV do not display the sleevenotes any more.

David Bowie: Some stuff is hideously dated - most of Low and some of Lodger. What is good is the pop classic "Sound And Vision".

Talking Heads: Remain In Light has some great stuff on it. Dated but has "Once In A Lifetime" and "Born Under Punches" on it. I sold mine ages ago when I went to America and now should really buy it but I don't listen to much rock any more.

Ambient: Music For Airports only. The stuff with David Byrne from the aforementioned Talking Heads is terrible pretentious guff.

U2: Achtung Baby and Zooropa are sonically great but lyrically shite. The lyrics of "Some Days Are Better Than Others" from the latter, for example are fucking shit (and I am not going to type out the lyrics to prove it - let somebody else get fucked over for copyright issues).

Late productions: James' Wah Wah is difficult to find but only a third of it is much good. Notable tracks are "Honest Joe" and "Jam J". Simian's We Are Your Friends is an Eno rip-off with "help from Brian Eno with oblique strategies." It also has about two decent songs. Their first album "Chemistry Is What We Are" is much better.

I feel so much that I yearn to wander by the roadside and watch the trucks

2005-02-10T17:41:00.000-08:00

Emo sucks, in general. Emo is an oxymoron. If Emo is more emotional than other music, then how? How come the musicians cannot feel the emotion in artists as diverse as Mozart, Fairport Convention, Miles Davis, Abba, Slam, Massive Attack, The Sex Pistols or The Beatles for instance? Thus Emo sucks because Emo is stupid.

Modest Mouse CDs one can own: one burned CD. Ditto the following: Operation Ivy, Pedro The Lion, Bright Eyes.

The best Emo isn't really Emo but shares similar influences. Grandaddy and Weezer and Imperial Teen and such.

Fun songs for zany people

2005-02-10T03:09:00.000-08:00

Anything too quirky can never be good. The obvious kings of quirk, They Might Be Giants, can only occupy at most one space in a CD rack, and are best not to. Should they be there, it really ought to be Factory Showroom.

Other artists that can be classified as almost-too-quirky include Ween, Weezer, Violent Femmes, Beck (Seachange is essential though), Belle and Sebastian (I allow Dear Catastrophe Waitress and Tigermilk), Looper, any given West Coast ska punk band especially of the puerile variety (an issue in itself, I say NONE), comedian side-projects or TV Cartoon spinoff compilations and The Flaming Lips (with the exception of The Soft Bulletin, which is excellent).

I say less quirk for your smirk, so keep a lid on things. No more than four quirky discs, distributed both among the artists and also chronologically so it doesn't look like you went through a phase.

Save The Prarie Sheep

2005-02-03T18:11:00.000-08:00

This one kept me awake at night. There should not be, unless you want to look like a big feral crustie, very much political music in one's collection. A spot of Public Enemy, Rage Against The Machine and Atari Teenage Riot is OK. Straight-Edge punk and vegan anarcho folk-dub is horrendous, and you can't *really* need so many acoustic protest albums.

Of the metal issue...

2005-01-27T23:54:00.000-08:00

No Motley Crue or Anthrax albums please. I might, MIGHT, allow one Metallica CD on the basis of youthful folly, and it would probably only be that black one.

Better if it's not there.

T-shirts are a different story, but only if they are obviously vintage recycle and completely cut up and reassembled with other fabrics (such as Harris Tweed).

mmm... Nice!

2005-01-19T06:06:00.000-08:00

Jazz. To some a terrible, terrible word. To some, a big heap of shite. Yet, to some, soothing. The thinking man's classical music. I think the employment of the Miles Davis age coefficient is in order. To wit:

If one is under 20, no jazz may be possessed, not even on burned CD. One is allowed five jazz CDs (including Blue Note and Verve samplers, and also bossa nova, Hiroko) per decade beyond the teens they are in. i.e. 20-29=5 jazz CDs or less. 30-39=10 jazz CDs or less.

Can't you see the inherit sense? Can't you see that we wish to save you from unnecessary beret and goatee combinations? Can't you?

The "triphop" issue

2005-01-17T19:46:00.000-08:00

No more than three Tricky albums. And I would prefer to see two. There isn't a need for more.

Same goes for Massive Attack. Choose the two you want and if you need more get burnt copies.

If there is Portishead and Massive Attack AND Tricky then the ratio should be about 2:1:2 or 2:2:1 unless you want a truly unsexy CD collection.

Back catalogues

2005-01-14T13:50:00.000-08:00

I don't want to see too many back catalogues. For a time I violated this principle with Nick Drake, U2 and Beth Orton, but since the new U2 album I no longer have the back catalogue.

So it's safe to say that there should be no more than two full back catalogues in a CD collection. More than that suggests undue obsession, which just isn't attractive.

As per usual, burnt CDs don't count. If a full back catalogue is completed with a couple of burnt CDs, it is ok because it suggests a rather lackadaisical approach to the gathering of one band's albums. I bought the latest U2 CD in Vietnam; it was a dodgy copy so does not render my collection unattractive.

Much as I love Joni Mitchell, I don't want to see a full back catalogue. At least one CD from the 1980s should be missing. Anything from the 60s or 70s is ok, although Marc would argue that a person should have no more than four of her CDs, which I think is ridiculously limiting.

I can't remember what Hiroko thought about this matter.

Back catalogues of mid-nineties drum'n'bass producers are never ok. Never.

Greatest Hits CD ownership

2005-01-12T17:32:00.000-08:00

Actually, there are get-out clauses with greatest hits compilations.

1. Alternative mixes only available on the compilation. e.g. Best of Bjork has the Fluke Single Remix version of Big Time Sensuality. Also...

2. Previously Unreleased Tracks. This is a pet peeve. e.g. on The Best of Bjork - It's In Our Hands. This is a pretence of value for money but makes the nigh on useless greatest hits CD an essential purchase for the avid fan.

3. Extra CD or DVD. This is actually *real* value for money e.g. Intergalactic Sonic 7"s by Ash has a B-sides/previously hard to find songs on its supplementary Cosmic Debris disc.
4. If It's Live. e.g. Portishead Live in NYC. This is essentially a best of.

This may spark a ton of comments on the blog. Please make sure that nobody else has passed similar comment or what have you.

Crowded House

2004-07-31T04:42:00.000-07:00

Today, Pete asked

How many CDs by Crowded House?

I said no more than 2. Agree? Disagree?