Monday, August 15, 2005

All-bloke bands

This particular issue may require more than one posting to be adequately addressed, but a simple overview follows.

Basically, if a band is an all-male quartet singing harmonies, swaying, gesticulating and making anguished faces whilst singing words like "girl I'll take yer clothes off slow" and "it's gonna be a bumpy ride" then it has absolutely no place in any CD collection of any person I'll ever be with. Don't know about you.

That wave of boy bands from a few years back HAS passed and should be allowed to crash on some distant shore where nobody will notice the detritus. I include those hideous nu-punk, nu-metal and ska groups in that dodgy tide. That distant shore is not a potential partner's CD stack, by the way.

If the band is British and too serious for their own good then you can have as many as you like as long as you are willing to admit that the band does in fact take themselves too seriously for their own good.

Should the band be an electronic duo or trio then they are probably OK as long as they are not producing half-arsed overtly hip electroclash or sugary overtly camp anthems. There is a camp coefficient of some sort but I cannot remember the details.

Emo speaks for itself.

Solo artists of the "I'm so folk I'm not even folk" category are to be shunned. I allow Ryan Adams although I know Marc has a few extreme things to say about him. Jack Johnson treads one very fine line, and I am sorry but the Dave Matthews Band will never ever be cool, ever. I am just assuming they are all-bloke because they are fodder for surf trips and footy party hangovers, enough said.

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds have had females in their lineup (see No more shall we part) and are absolutely allowable, indeed it's better if you do have them, especially the said album.

There is more, oh so much more to be said, but I am feeling a bit too much testosterone in the air so will perhaps pass the task to another contributor? Or maybe just let it die in its glorious incompleteness.

1 Comments:

Blogger PetStarr said...

Totally agree with you about DMB. The fact that the whole of America's college youth finds them utterly fascinating is enough to dissaude anyone from going near them.

10:11 PM  

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