Wildcards
I don't mean to be such a Suzy Hangaround on this website, but I've been thinking about wildcard CDs.
Wildcard titles effectively allow someone to violate another Embarrassing LPs rule, albeit under tight constraints, without major penalty or loss of face. In my previous post I cited Kate Bush's Hounds of Love as one such wildcard -- possession of this particular title makes up for ONE oversight in either the Britpop or electronica category.
Other wildcards include:
Nick Drake Pink Moon - this is a powerful title and would cancel out the negative energy of even an emo disc. It basically negates up to three problem titles in all but the folk or soft rock categories, the latter of which shouldn't really be rearing up its ugly head anyway.
Arcade Fire Funeral - this fabulous newcomer makes up for the second Strokes album, or alternatively, ONE oversight involving The White Stripes, Sonic Youth or Black Rebel Motorcycle Club.
Michelle Shocked Short, Sharp, Shocked - absorbs the impact of ONE seminal 80s power women violation.
Third Eye Foundation's OuMoPo 1 - this disc makes up for an overabundance of Amon Tobin, Aphex Twin or Brian Eno, but not all three.
R.E.M. Automatic for the people - own this disc and I will turn a blind eye to a Tom Waits back catalogue. The usual rule for Tom Waits is a maximum of four.
Joni Mitchell For the roses - this wildcard functions most powerfully as a standalone, so if you were to have only one Joni Mitchell album and this were it, you would be allowed to have an extra chillout compilation, ONE recent Bob Dylan or Carole King CD and maybe even some Janet Jackson. If it is part of a Joni Mitchell collection, it makes up for one too many Me'Shell Ndegeocello titles (the usual maximum is two) or more than just the first Tracy Chapman release.
How do the other columnists feel about this issue?
Wildcard titles effectively allow someone to violate another Embarrassing LPs rule, albeit under tight constraints, without major penalty or loss of face. In my previous post I cited Kate Bush's Hounds of Love as one such wildcard -- possession of this particular title makes up for ONE oversight in either the Britpop or electronica category.
Other wildcards include:
Nick Drake Pink Moon - this is a powerful title and would cancel out the negative energy of even an emo disc. It basically negates up to three problem titles in all but the folk or soft rock categories, the latter of which shouldn't really be rearing up its ugly head anyway.
Arcade Fire Funeral - this fabulous newcomer makes up for the second Strokes album, or alternatively, ONE oversight involving The White Stripes, Sonic Youth or Black Rebel Motorcycle Club.
Michelle Shocked Short, Sharp, Shocked - absorbs the impact of ONE seminal 80s power women violation.
Third Eye Foundation's OuMoPo 1 - this disc makes up for an overabundance of Amon Tobin, Aphex Twin or Brian Eno, but not all three.
R.E.M. Automatic for the people - own this disc and I will turn a blind eye to a Tom Waits back catalogue. The usual rule for Tom Waits is a maximum of four.
Joni Mitchell For the roses - this wildcard functions most powerfully as a standalone, so if you were to have only one Joni Mitchell album and this were it, you would be allowed to have an extra chillout compilation, ONE recent Bob Dylan or Carole King CD and maybe even some Janet Jackson. If it is part of a Joni Mitchell collection, it makes up for one too many Me'Shell Ndegeocello titles (the usual maximum is two) or more than just the first Tracy Chapman release.
How do the other columnists feel about this issue?
posted by peter at
8:24 PM
5 Comments:
You are wrong about Michelle Shocked and 3EF. However...
I will give EMF's Stigma the power to undo the damage of ownership of Ministry and Revolting Cocks CDs.
Ownership of any Mos Def/Talib Kweli stuff also means that you can be allowed to have the dreaded first two Nelly albums OR one of Elephunk/Monkey Business by the Black Eyed Peas (but not both).
If you have the first two Roxy Music albums, you can own as much crimplenist Britpop as you want.
Ownership of any solo album by Throbbing Gristle members guarantees no sexual relations with anyone. Ever.
now marc i do seem to remember you describing michelle shocked as a "cooler bob dylan" (or words to that effect) when i played you the texas campfire tapes in the futakotamagawa staffroom.
so i can't really see how i can be wrong about her.
OK, I searched the archives, and though I think we have said it verbally, the Obscurants Choice Clause applies to both 3EF and Michelle Shocked. So, being quite culturally out of the way records, they can't be wildcards can they? Or can they?
You'll never hear me say I was wrong again, so I was wrong!
However, I will say that Michelle Shocked in a collection is going to neither make me jump for joy or head to the hills. But Cat Power might do the latter. She has a free mp3 to download from her new album at the matador records site. Just in case you are interested. But I wouldn't endorse her. But you can download a Spoon track there. And The New Pornographers and Pavement.
yes... hmm... the obscurants choice clause... i would say that wildcards are obscure more often than not, because nobody gives two hoots about the latest top 40 megaseller even if it is good.
i think jagged little pill is a great album, but it could never be a wildcard.
i guess wildcards tread a fine line between obscurity and widespread validation... ooh it's a toughie.
but i'd say that one little hidden gem can make me forget about a whole heap of rough, shale, dolomite and so on, and this is where wildcards really come into their own.
one more wildcard: Joanna Newsom - The milk eyed mender, own this and oh i will be yours forever! (and i might overlook a couple of extraneous sade albums too)
dear folks, recently i was on a ten-hour bus in borneo and they had alanis morisette's new (i can only assume) album on repeat. just think about that.
also i agree that one black eyed peas is allowed, but no more than that because anyone should realize pronto after popping in one disc how absolutely terrible their lyrics are. "let's get retarded" are just some of the lyrics they put to music which is just a little too catchy even the first time.
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